The year end list

by juli boggs

This year my top 25 albums list was shortened to top 5, which soon turned into a series of top 5 music-related lists, the following of which I feel most strongly. It is my hope that by January 1st 2014, all of the following concerns will be totally irrelevant because they will not exist in the realm of popular culture, at all.

Top 5 trends that 2013 should put to bed

  1. Dubstep and trip-hop tracks: if it’s made to sound good while you’re high on cocaine and half naked in a club, it’s probably not good “cleaning the kitchen” or “hosting some friends for some beer and snacks” music.
  2. Alternative spelling for already bad band names: This isn’t twitter, you can use as many characters as you want. You don’t need reduce your band name to Ths-MSKSXXX.
  3. Witch-core, dark wave, chill-mambo: Whatever it is that used to be “goth rock,” just call it “goth rock.” If you’re wearing black lipstick your “ambient ghost folk” label isn’t fooling anyone.
  4. Nicki Minaj: Any song featuring Nicki Minaj just got that much worse. I know she looks like she’s made of sex and sugar, but she sounds like a revving lawn mower motor and she must be stopped.
  5. Mega summer festivals: When did seeing all 500 of your favorite bands play 22 minute sets to 100,000 people for the price of a $400 weekend pass become more ideal than catching them one at a time at a mid-level club where you can see and hear, and the only $15 beer is a 500ml import?